I didn’t boycott my computer for the last month if that’s what you’re wondering. In fact, it’s actually quite the opposite. I’ve spent more time watching Netflix these last few weeks than I have my entire life and I didn’t think it was possible to be sick of laying in bed watching a mind numbing amount of Vampire Diaries and terrible romantic comedies that have extremely predictable endings, but I have been proven wrong.
Being in bed as sick as a dog (who even decided that being “sick as a dog” was even a thing? I’ve seen like 3 sick dogs in my entire life while I’ve seen 50 sick humans this past week alone)
is prime time for writing but as you can tell, I’ve written nothing since my last blog post was in December. I was laying in bed with a drippy nose, a cough that sounded like I smoked 50 packs a day and a bed side table covered in drugs, (and not the good kind either) I realized that I couldn’t write a damn thing. I was trying to be all witty and funny and “girl next door-ey” and make people think I’m hilarious yet also very educated and someone they would want to be friends with and braid each others hair and paint each others nails…unless you’re a guy and your hair is short and you’d rather not have your nails painted, which would make that scenario extremely awkward instead of enjoyable. I found myself struggling to find something to write about that sounded even remotely interesting or funny which pissed me off even more so than usual because I literally did so much these past 3 weeks. I left the country, went to New York City, got stuck in the middle of a Hanukkah Parade (and I’m not Jewish, so figure that one out), started back at school, almost got into a car accident…twice, made a snowman wearing a bright pink Barbie coat and a hat made of out racoon fur (myself that is…not the snowman), found out I have a foreign exchange student from the U.K coming to live with me and almost died from eating bad Nutella.
SO HOW COULD I BE STRUGGLING TO FIND SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT?! There’s literally been so much going on! How are my fingers not bleeding from smashing the keys on my keyboard so much?! I DONT EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THIS! I NEED TO BE WRITTINGGGGGG JBCWHEWIHFIHWEH!!!!!!
But there I was, sitting down in front of a blank sheet on Microsoft Word with not a clue what to say or being deeply dissatisfied with what I had written to the point of crumpling it up and dramatically dunking it in the electronic recycling bin on my desktop, which I have to say was not nearly as satisfying as crumpling up an actual piece of paper and tossing it into an actual trashcan. Alas…even technology fails me at my darkest moments.
I realized that I was not dissatisfied with my work because the writing wasn’t good or because the story sucked or I thought people would like it, but I was dissatisfied because it wasn’t funny.
Humour is the one attribute about myself that I will never hate or want to change. I started this blog over a year ago for a very simple reason, because I wanted to make people laugh. I wanted it to be a place where people could come when they were sad or having a bad day to put a smile back on their faces. The posts I had written were good…they just weren’t funny so what was the point in even posting them?
And here I am again, this time staring at a half done, untiled, Pages document (because somehow I convinced myself that if I used Pages instead of Word, my writing would be funnier???), still being unsatisfied with my writing and not thinking its funny enough or witty enough or good enough to be published….but I’m going to publish it anyway’s.
I’d be lying if I said I was satisfied with this post, and I’d be lying once more if I said I thought it was funny. This isn’t the sort of thing I’d be excited to publish and show the world and bring home to my mother so she can put it on the fridge and we can all stare at while we wander into the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat bad Nutella that gives us food poising for 2 days.
But, its still my work, and I still spent a good two hours of my time writing, editing, proof reading, re-writing it twice more and googling funny gifs and memes to incorporate into it, so I’m going to publish it and I’m challenging you to do that same.
Dig through your archives and find something you wrote that you absolutely hated and publish it (it may be absolutely terrible but it could be hilarious and make for an excellent opportunity to make you feel much better about yourself now) or if you’re not a writer, take a chance to say something to someone that you always wanted to (unless its something not nice… then I suggest you keep it to yourself), or wear that dress you think you’re too fat to look good in, apply to the program you think you have no chance at getting into or pick up a map and decide to go somewhere completely new for a while. Do something you told yourself you could never do, because if you never do it, you’ll be right in telling yourself that you couldn’t do it and then I would be wrong by telling you that you could do it… and I like to be right. So go out and do that thing that you’re thinking of doing but you said no to a million times because I need to be right…and I also want to feel less bad about publishing something that adds no meaning to your life…. Okay, but does anything I write add meaning to your life? I wrote a blog posts about Jello Cubes having raves, banana farts and Canadian Geese attacking me. This post is probably the most normal thing I’ve published in a long time and I’m being way too hard on myself. Ahh……I need a nap…and to check the best before dates on Nutella from now on.