Edward Cullen Can Never Have Garlic Bread Again. How Sad.

It’s Halloween ya’ll and here I am sitting in my living room eating the candy that I’m suppose to be handing out to trick-or-treaters while wearing minnie mouse ears and Winnie the pooh pyjamas. It really isn’t any different than a regular night for me.

I’ve been staring at my phone all night looking at the most amazing Halloween memes and all the sudden this beauty comes rolling up on my screen:


I could not contain my laughter when this came up partly because I love a good Halloween joke (but who doesn’t?) , but mostly because I loved the fact that the skeleton is all “oh…oh my god… you can’t eat garlic bread” and he sounds so ashamed it was as if he just made a “yo mama” joke after Dracula’s mother just died, except worse.

I don’t actually know if Dracula’s mother (I’m assuming this vampire is in fact Dracula and not another unknown male vampire) could die since vampires are immortal and live for thousands of years. Twilight didn’t really educate me on my vampire facts, except for the fact that they supposedly sparkle in the sun (I think Dracula would be ashamed of what has become of vampire legends). However, my boyfriend is Romanian and FUN FACT: Dracula’s castle is in Romania which makes my boyfriend a vampire/ soccer/ european/ cabbage roll expert so he knows all there is to know about vampires and has confirmed that Dracula’s mother did die, mostly because Dracula wasn’t a vampire and was actually 100% human along with his mother.

I don’t really blame Dracula for not becoming a vampire (as if that were an actual possibility) because vampires can’t eat garlic bread just as this skeleton so hilariously pointed out, and that would be a horrible life. Especially cause it’s not the length of a regular life, its like 10 times a long. Just imagine 3000 years without garlic bread… Ummm, no thanks.


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