I Went To Wonderland (sort of).

I’m still on my reading week which means I’m trying to fill up my time with literally anything else other than homework so I can continue to hold the world record in procrastination. I decided to go for a little drive today and see where I could end up and I found myself on the shores of lake Ontario in a town that looked like Oompa Loompas would come crawling out of the houses and pink and purple, floating cats or hares with pocket watches would jump out of the trees at any moment, because I was in wonderland. I drove into this neighbourhood where the houses were painted the colours of candy, there were intricate and crazy wooden designs added to them and I honestly hate taking pictures but when you accidentally find yourself in wonderland, you have to document.

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I would like to clarify that that is not a real person on the roof with their head in their hands. It’s just a Halloween decoration. If a real person was standing on the roof with their head in hands I would question if I was sober because “beheaded person” + “colourful houses”=  I have most likely been drugged and I am now Alice in Satanic Land.

If you’re judging me right now and thinking “what the hell? You would be thinking you’ve been drugged but you wouldn’t think to call the police if you saw a beheaded person?” UMMMM WHY WOULD I CALL THE POLICE IF I WAS DRUGGED?! THEY WOULD ARREST ME FOR BEING HIGH AND THINK I WAS THE ONE WHO DID IT.

I might be a little bit insane, but I’m not stupid. At least when it comes to drugs.

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This one even had wooden mushrooms in the yard like they purposefully wanted people to be like “Yup. I’m totally stoned right now.”

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Could you imagine how long this house took to paint? And how crazy would you look going to the paint store being like “I want 8 litres of red that is exactly the colour of Dorothy’s ruby red slippers. No, this isn’t for my child’s bedroom, this is for my house. No, like the outside of my house.”

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This house was called “Cotton Candy Cottage” which I thought was 110% appropriate. img_4712And here we see the domestic* blogger leaving her house for the first time in months, in awe of what has become of modern cottages.

*I wrote domestic here because I was hearing the words in my head as if Morgan Freeman was saying them and I felt like he would insert the word domestic in when describing me but there literally is nothing domestic about being a blogger and a student. I just sit in front of my computer all day while my laundry piles up and the milk goes bad. But I’m lactose intolerant, so the milk can go as bad as it wants. img_4711

My mom also has no idea how to use a camera and her fingers are in almost every picture that she tried to take.

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Oh look, more fingers.

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I also found this “Take One Leave One” mailbox/ library/ amazingness very interesting. You take a book out like you’re “signing it out” and you leave one there for someone else to borrow. If I didn’t run into the Oompa Loompa houses, I probably would have thought this was the most amazing thing ever. This also seems a little bit insane to me because I’m so protective over my books and I would be afraid that people would steal them or that water would get inside this bird house disguised as a library. But this is Canada, so who’s going to steal?

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I particularly liked this one simply because their garden was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It was probably only 100 square feet but it was filled from fence to fence with trees and flowers and you could probably get lost in it. Or at least, I would get lost in it because I have a terrible sense of direction. Didn’t I see this bush before….

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I also decided to stop at a restaurant for lunch which I honestly wasn’t too sure about doing because I have no money and every time I go out I can never manage to be healthy, I always have order anything deep fried and covered in gravy, but I’m so glad I decided to stop because I realized that who ever owned this restaurant was a genius. Just look at the way they’ve written their menu. img_0862“Alone but actually with a bunch of other fries” Like seriously, it looks like I wrote their menu. I have a degree in sarcasm and it’s on my resume, as well as on this menu.

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I had already spent $8 on lunch and my card was magically accepted so I decided to push my luck and see if I could spend even more money and I managed to find a massive ostrich fountain that was $7500. And yes, my card was magically accepted for this too.

Just kidding. I wouldn’t spend $7500 on an ostrich fountain. Maybe if it was $7500…and was made of solid gold, and cured cancer and solved world hunger, but $7500 for a regular fountain (even if it is shaped like a massive bird) is a little steep for me.

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On the way home we passed over Lake Ontario and I got a pretty good view of Toronto without having to drive through any traffic which was honestly a miracle so I had to take a picture of it except the picture didn’t really turn out since Canadian weather is terrible and its either raining, snowing, foggy or all 3 of those at once, so I labeled it for you. You’re welcome.

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So, at the end of the day I made it to wonderland (sort of), lake ontario, a super sassy restaurant, a one person library, saw a lady with her own head in her hands, an insanely overpriced garden apparel store, Toronto (sort of…again) and found a local market that had lots of Canadian flags and maple syrup.

I guess it’s a good idea to look away from your computer screen and leave your house every once and a while. Just take your phone with you. And check your social media every hour. And maybe put on a coat cause its cold outside. And if anyone tries to convince you to buy a $7500 ostrich fountain, don’t do it. You should question why on earth they even have an ostrich fountain and they’ll probably look at you really strange and ask you to leave the store but you were going to leave anyways because everything in there is clearly way too expensive and only rich people can afford to buy a 7 foot tall bird fountain. Rich people are weird.

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2 thoughts on “I Went To Wonderland (sort of).

  1. 10/10 I now wanted to live in a painfully bright rainbow cottage. Sounds like you had a great day!

    “I’m lactose intolerant, so the milk can go as bad as it wants.” When you’re lactose intolerant, the milk is ALWAYS bad.

    Like

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