I Started Off With Nothing and I Still Have Most Of It

The other day I was listening to the radio and Drake came on singing, “I started from the bottom, now I’m here” which really got me into this perplexed existential crisis mood while I was driving which is quite dangerous to be honest because I couldn’t pay attention to where I was going since I was trying to apply Drake’s life changing lyrics to my life and I came up with the conclusion that I started off with nothing and I still have most of it. 

Don’t get me wrong, my life could be way worse. I have a job… a minimum wage job where I cook chicken all day and smell like grease when I come home but never the less, still a job. I also have a house… where the roof leaks and we don’t even have a backyard and our front yard is so small that we didn’t even bother to buy a lawn mower to cut the grass. Once a year me and my mom go out with the nail clippers and cut all of the blades of grass individually and it only takes 5 minutes because our lawn is so tiny (for those of you who are new here, this is sarcasm. I do this a lot). I also have a car, and no not “well it’s my mom’s… but I drive it” kinda car, like its mine. I bought it with my own chicken-cooking money and my name is on the little red slip of paper that says I own it.


My car isn’t much better than this

But this car is the worst thing I’ve ever wasted my money on and it’s literally sitting in my driveway rusting as we speak, not in a “yea… its on blocks and it doesn’t move so it’s rusting” way,  but a “I drive it everyday and it’s falling apart and there’s seriously not one part on this car that I haven’t replaced in the last two years” kinda way.

I also have a family who are kinda cool when they want to be (I’m kidding, mom… you’re kinda cool like 40% of the time when you’re not yelling at me to do my laundry and pay my rent and walk the dog even though we don’t have a dog) and I was also lucky enough to be accepted into University which only 1% of the world can say (and no I didn’t make that stat up like most of my “stats” that I pull out of thin air, this is an actual fact, like you can even google it and I bet it’s there) but University is the true culprit as to why I started off with nothing and still have most of it because it’s TAKEN ALL MY MONEY.

Unlike most of the world, Canada has not caught onto the fact that tuition is hella expensive and maybe should be covered by the government like our healthcare system? But the governments all “Nah, just pay for it yourselves”, so we do. img_4608This has taught me to be extra careful with my money and never spend on it on things that you don’t nessecarily need and apparently I don’t need anything since I LITERALLY HAVE $3.50 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT AND THAT WONT EVEN BUY ME A PACK OF GUM.

Yes, I have very very very little money at the moment because my uni is all, “We want to educate you $o you’ll have to pay u$ $ome $mall fee$ $$$$$$$”

and then my bank account is all “wut happened?”,

and I’m all “I have no idea, just let me buy this coffee”,

and my account is all “ummm…. you don’t have enough money for it.”,

and thats pretty much been my life for the last 3 years.


My car is falling apart, my house leaks, my lawn gets cut with nail clippers (but not actually…I just thought the idea of someone cutting their lawn with nail clippers was hilarious so I needed to put it in here), I cook chickens for living and not only can I not afford to buy a pack of gum but I only own 3 pairs of pants and all 3 of them have massive holes in them yet I still continue to wear them since I have negative money and cant afford to buy a new pair. So yes, I started off with nothing and I still have most of it, but I wouldn’t trade any of it for the whole world.

I will “make it rain” with my negative money (which honestly would hurt considering Canada has a $1 and $2 coin and  I would literally just be chucking the same loonie and toonie in the air over and over again),


I’ll add this to my resume

I’ll blast the radio in my rumbling, squeaky, money sucking car, and I’ll come home smelling like chickens as I watch the water drops peacefully fall into the blue bucket that goes into my garage every winter so my house doesn’t get flooded. I started off with nothing and thank god that I still have it all, because I love it.

So, does your car squeak, your house leak, your job suck and your local bank laughs at your account balance? Tell me about it! What’s something that may look like nothing to other people, but is everything to you?


6 thoughts on “I Started Off With Nothing and I Still Have Most Of It

  1. Haha My dear cousin Danielle
    You should start writing a book with your wit and sense of humor it would go far.
    I think most of us older folks have been through what you are going through. Some of us even went so far as to living on Kraft dinner or something cheap in order to pay rent because we were not so lucky to live close to college or university. And some of us were not so lucky to even have a car or our mothers car and had to bus it everywhere we went. And even had to take the bags of laundry on a bus to wash clothes at a laundromat .
    But in the long run we learn to appreciate even more what we are working for or have worked for . Our education to get a good job hopefully that will help to pay of the huge student loan we have had to take to get the good job. The cycle goes around. But you are young and one day when all is finished and hopefully you have a decent paying job then you will have a nice car and a nice bank account.
    Don’t forget to show appreciation to your mother who has worked her butt of to help you I’m sure.
    You will graduate one day soon and this will be all behind you but take life’s lessons with you. Never take things for granted and always thank God for what you do have . There is always someone with less than you or worse of than you.
    Chin up and keep going.
    From your cousin Debbie


  2. That horse-and-carriage car (and your rustbucket) are still better than my car. My car does not exist yet. I don’t own a car. I may or may not even have a driving license.

    Ho hum.

    Being a student suuucks money-wise. I’m never going to forget that swoop of terror when you check your bank account and there’s nothing in it (or worse, you are on minus money). So many sheepish, ashamed calls to my parents … so many.

    On the bright side, when you get out with your shiny certificate, it gets better. Waaay better, at least in terms of money. You don’t have to be the Queen of Fried Chicken forever, and it’ll be the best feeling in the world when you look at something expensive and think, ‘Ugh, I’ll never afford that … WAIT A MINUTE, YES I CAN!’ and then you buy it and drown yourself in the joys of consumerist capitalism.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Being the Queen of Fried Chicken isn’t my official job title but I think it needs to be now, although when I get a better…less greasy job, it will be a title that I will be happy to throw away. I usually buy all my clothes second hand because it’s so much cheaper and I went into a real clothing store last week, where they sell actual new clothing that hasn’t been worn yet. My mind was blown, and not just because there were new clothes that didn’t smell like old people, but because I looked at the price tags and I couldn’t believe how much money new clothes are. One day (hopefully soon) I will walk into a new clothing store and say, “holy crap this is expensive…but I have money to buy it MUHAHAHAHAH.” And then I will drown myself in clothing as I continue to laugh…and not cook fried chicken…and drive a better, less rusty car.


    • Yes, the universal language of universities is “dollar bill sign” and when the Dean of any university talks, all of his “S’s” are $ bill signs in his mind. When you have so much money, you need to start putting it all somewhere, right? Am


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