Fact: Cats Are Just People Trapped Inside Tiny, Hairy Bodies

I truly believe that my cat is a person trapped inside a tiny, hairy body. Allow me to explain because the sentence truly does sound insane without any context. My cat is like a normal cat in the sense that he sleeps for 15 hours a day, licks himself, plays with dead flies and comes running whenever I shake the treat bag, but sometimes I catch him doing the oddest things when he thinks I’m not around.

Like one day I found him UNDERNEATH the covers of my bed just having a nap. How he managed to get under there, I have no idea because MY BED WAS MADE.


Another day I found him in the bathtub with a look on him face like “so… you gunna run the water or nah?”


Last week I made breakfast and he jumped on my lap and just stared into the bowl like he was reading it’s soul.


After Thanksgiving dinner last year, I found him in the same position as most of my family members: sleeping, with his double chin and massive belly hanging out.


Double chin, more like, where does your neck end and your body begin?


And finally, my mom had bought me a crap tone of candy that was on clearance after easter last year, I put them down on my bed, turn around and I see HIM LAYING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL MY CANDY. And the first thing that came out of my mouth after seeing him was “Dude… I feel the exact same way about chocolate”


He’s my spirit animal. Clearly.

In his defence, who wouldn’t want to lay down in a big pile of chocolate if they were given the chance? NOBODY.

In conclusion the Egyptians weren’t insane in their decision to worship cats because clearly they are people trapped inside tiny, hairy bodies. Case closed. Science loses and I win.


2 thoughts on “Fact: Cats Are Just People Trapped Inside Tiny, Hairy Bodies

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