My Cat Can’t Stop Losing His Stuff and He Only Owns 4 Things

Okay, so my cat has like 4 toys and he constantly keeps loosing them and as soon I find one, he manages to find another place to lose it and I’m going insane.

My clothes are constantly covered in cat hair which I have renamed “feline glitter” to make it sound like my life is constantly covered in glamour, and when I adopted my cat I SIGNED UP FOR THAT. I knew he would shed and so I went out and bought a years supply of lint rollers and like a handful of toys but I was not prepared for the fact that HE WOULD LOSE ALL THE TOYS.

Like seriously, I’m vacuuming and I see this creature just creepily looking up at me


and then I see blue rolly polly just chilling under the table


and then mouse-on-a-stick and a Webkinz looking like they were getting busy under the book shelf. (Yes, my cat likes to play with Webkinz. It’s about the only think they’re useful for nowadays).


How long have you lived here?



It’s like his toys are hiding from him because they refuse to be chewed, clawed and malled to death anymore. It’s a cat toy strike ya’ll.

The best part about this is since my cat can’t keep track of his pretend mice (and his Webkin), he has to find other things to play with, like toilet paper, dead flies, lose thread on my clothing, my underwear and my socks… while they’re still on my feet.

Never buy your cat toys. They’ll just loose them and place them strategically around the house for you to find and suck up in the vacuum so you’ll have to go out to Walmart in your Winnie the Pooh pyjamas on a Monday morning and buy another vacuum.

P.S My cat is totally sitting here while I’m writing this like He. Fricking. Knows. I’m writing about him.


Im not kidding.


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