Millennials have been predicted to be the most surprising and open minded generation to date. We care more about the environment, our health, the economy and political parities than any generation before us did at our age. We care about what the future looks like and we want to partake in it in every way we possibly can which is a fantastic thing. I am often proud of my generation and particularly women of my generation for choosing to care about issues that have been overlooked by most young people since the beginning of the 20th century. But the area where I am deeply disappointed in my generation and where I’m almost ashamed to be a woman is when it comes to modern day relationships which got me thinking about all the things that I absolutely despise about my generation of women and their idea of “modern day romance”. As it turns out there are 7 things that millennial women are doing wrong in their relationships which are bound to end in disappoint and maybe even relationship failure.
- You’re displaying your relationship on the internet way too much.
Texts are basically electronic love notes without all the fancy handwriting, which is why it’s so nice to receive a really nice, heart filled text from time to time but just because your boyfriend sends you an amazing text, doesn’t mean you need to post it on Instagram for the world to see. Your relationship is not a popularity contest. It isn’t something you can rub in other peoples faces or to share on Facebook to get likes. Of course it feels nice to share the amazing text your boyfriend sends you every morning but there needs to be privacy in your relationship and the internet is the polar opposite of private.
2. You’re expecting too much out of him.
Nowadays its so easy for couples to forget what good and thoughtful things their partner has done for them in the past because theres a million things on the internet to compare them too. There are spectacular proposal videos online where the man rents out a whole restaurant for her or plans a massive flash mod with over 300 people and some women are now expecting their men to do that. Statistically only 58% of men consider themselves romantic so naturally 42% of men don’t consider themselves romantic. This means that if you are in a relationship with a man who is in that 42%, he is never going to do these things that you expect him to which is going to leave you unbelievably dissatisfied with your relationship even though he thinks he’s doing everything perfectly fine, which brings me to my next point.
3. You aren’t communicating properly.
There are so many hidden meanings behind what women mean when we send you the word “k”. Most of the time it means “you’ve really really REALLY pissed me off and you had better fix it now” and as women, we think we’re being perfectly clear on what we mean when we send that to you but the reality is, men are completely clueless to it and rightfully so. Women cannot expect their man to know exactly what we mean when we send ‘k’ or ‘its fine’ to you. We only send you 1 or 2 letters when were upset and we expect you to be able to analyze it and know exactly why were mad and fix it. 99% of the time you never get it right which just leads to another argument. Not communicating properly is pointless and just causes more damage. Sending your partner the word ‘k’ is not going to fix your problems, it will only identify that there is one. Theres no point in playing a guessing game with your partner when theres something wrong. Be honest and straight up with them and just tell them how you feel.
4. You’re letting insignificant things matter.
Whenever a girl my age talks about how her boyfriend lets her go through his phone, my eyes roll back so far into my head that I can see my brain. Just because your boyfriend lets you into his phone, doesn’t mean he’s 100% trustworthy because anything that he wants can be perminentley deleted. Men have figured out by now that as soon as they tell you to look through their phone, he’s basically got you locked in like a helpless bird in a cage. You are letting a phone define your trust with that person which shouldn’t be case. You should be asking yourself: have I ever seen this person steal? Have I ever seen him lie to his parents or siblings? Have I ever caught him cheating on an exam? Has he ever cheated on a past girlfriend or has had many failed relationships that were because of his doing? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when you’re wanting to trust somebody, not the fact that they’re letting you look into their phone.
5.You aren’t discussing the future.
Too often I see women who are around my age that end up breaking up with their long time boyfriend because they didn’t agree on their future together. Too often women are ready to settle down and get married before life gets too busy but men are comfortable where they are. You need to discuss what future you see together before you ever consider living with or even dating a person because if your futures don’t line up, whats the point of being together? You’re going to throw away years of your life filled with memories and very personal experiences together just to end up breaking it off. If you want to marry him in the future, you need to tell him before it gets too serious. Of course some men would find this downright scary and would probably run away from you as fast as possible but its better for him to run from you before you’re in love with him than after.
6. You’re confusing infatuation with love.
If all you can think about night and day is a specific person and you get so jealous when you see them even standing around other women and you think about what they’re doing every second that you’re not with them, your infatuated with them, not in love. When you love somebody it doesn’t matter if they’re talking to other women because you know he’s simply just talking to her and absolutely nothing else. There is nothing to be jealous about because you trust them 100% of the time. When you’re in love you aren’t going to think about that person night and day because you know that they love you and you don’t need the constant reassurance of them talking to you or being with you all day, everyday. Real love doesn’t just create trust and an amazing bond between the two of you but it also gets rid of any doubts or jealousy that you have.
7. You want to spend every waking moment with them.
Some women act like very grumpy cats when their boyfriend says he wants to have a guys night. For some reason, women of my generation feel the need to spend every waking (and sometimes sleeping) hour of every day with their boyfriend. You might as well personally drop him off at the mental institution if you want to spend every hour of every day with him. Ladies, your man needs space. He needs his own time with his friends to just be a guy without his girl around. Believe me, he probably loves spending time with you, but every once in a while he needs a break from you to simply just be a guy. You need to let him do that and stop being a hissy, old, grumpy cat when he tells you he’s going out with the guys.